Self Confidence In Your Personal & Business Life
Living The Life You Love
Self confidence is a concern for many women and we've got to ask why?
Why do so many dynamic, strong, incredible women lack confidence in themselves and their abilities? Why do gorgeous women of various sizes feel badly about their bodies and lose confidence as a result? What is this phenomenon and how can we all start saying YES to our true selves, in body, mind and soul? How can we be willing to be all that we are with CONFIDENCE in our relationships and within our "self"?
In this first article of the two-part series, we look at confidence in our personal lives and get some tips for how to put these lessons into action. In the next issue we'll look at how confidence enhances your business success.
No doubt about it, we are all gifted. Each and every one of us contains a vibrant spark of humanity, a spark of individual greatness that no other person can duplicate. It is your mission in life to discover this spark and use it for the good of yourself and others. Sounds like a super-hero screenplay? Perhaps. But it is reality and the way towards living an inspired life. (If you can't connect to knowing that you are one amazing spark, take a long good look at your confidence levels.)
Confidence is the "knowing". The deep knowing from within that you have tremendous worth. This knowing allows you to open up to all your possibilities, to be fully who you are and to allow you to embrace your significance. As a women's life coach, I view the lack of confidence issue as the number one roadblock that throws women off their sacred path in life. It is the piece of the puzzle that's missing from the grand masterpiece. Without confidence we can't contribute our full potential to the world, never-mind to ourselves.
So what is self confidence? Self confidence begins with believing in yourself. The knowing of who you are and loving every bit of you…. the good, the bad and the parts that need some tweaking! Acceptance of self is vital and this includes knowing you can change the parts that don't serve you. It's a belief in your abilities and capabilities. A certainty that you are special. Not from an egotistical place, but from a kind, inner grounded place. I call it "relaxed confidence". It comes from the place where you are happy with yourself and able to open up to constructive criticism while holding on to your full being.
How to get there: Step by Step
Building this inner certainty and knowing takes time and practice. We are made up of body, psyche and soul. Being happy and confident with your whole being is a journey. As social beings we are constantly comparing ourselves with others. "Do I fit in with the group?" "Does she/he like me?" "Am I fat/thin/ugly/beautiful?!"
Basically, the overview is, AM I GOOD ENOUGH? Good enough for what, I ask! Here is where we go back to the SPARK and the knowing that there are no duplicates and only original beauties!
A great quote I tell my clients is: "What other people think of me is none of my business." A quote with a twist. It takes the emphasis off of others and on to our own SELF!
Reflect for a minute:
Fill in the blank below 10 times. (ie. I AM happy, successful, etc.)
I AM __________________________________.
Are the majority of your answers filled with future possibility or is it time to maneuver your thoughts towards a more positive outcome?
Believing in your power, your good qualities, and your trust in yourself to do good takes time, but is possible for each and everyone of us.
Here are some tips for successful, relaxed confidence and building this inner certainty:
The body speaks loud and clear. Walk with strength, stand strong, and make eye contact. Smiling is a beautiful added touch! The body will send the message to the psyche that "we are doing great!"
Put this list in eye's view and read it daily. Sounds strange, but the list will grow on you and you'll start identifying with your strong place within.
Buy yourself a mug that says "I LOVE YOU" or a cozy t-shirt with a loving saying. Give the love to yourself, just as you do for others. Surround yourself with positive pieces of gratitude towards YOU! This physical expression of love to yourself will help nurture your new, growing confidence.
Every once and a while check in with your mind. Are you thinking FEEL GOOD thoughts or negative ones? Be gentle with yourself. Gently switch your thought-process to forward moving and happier ideas. Relaxed Confidence lives where there is good flowing energy.
Decide you want to learn to love yourself more. Decide you want to discover your strengths and help yourself grow. This WILLINGNESS is a big piece towards your success. As Wayne Dyer says, "I am already in my mind where I intend to be." Use the power of your mind and your WILL-power to choose to be confident.
What have you done this far in your life that truly feels natural and beneficial for you? What can you contribute now that feels natural and good for you? (And helps build your business too!)
1. FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT
The body speaks loud and clear. Walk with strength, stand strong, and make eye contact. Smiling is a beautiful added touch! The body will send the message to the psyche that "we are doing great!"
2. MAKE A LIST OF YOUR TOP 7 STRENGETHS
Put this list in eye's view and read it daily. Sounds strange, but the list will grow on you and you'll start identifying with your strong place within.
3. REMIND YOURSELF
Buy yourself a mug that says "I LOVE YOU" or a cozy t-shirt with a loving saying. Give the love to yourself, just as you do for others. Surround yourself with positive pieces of gratitude towards YOU! This physical expression of love to yourself will help nurture your new, growing confidence.
4. FOCUS ON YOUR THOUGHTS
Every once and a while check in with your mind. Are you thinking FEEL GOOD thoughts or negative ones? Be gentle with yourself. Gently switch your thought-process to forward moving and happier ideas. Relaxed Confidence lives where there is good flowing energy.
5. MAKE THE CHOICE
Decide you want to learn to love yourself more. Decide you want to discover your strengths and help yourself grow. This WILLINGNESS is a big piece towards your success. As Wayne Dyer says, "I am already in my mind where I intend to be." Use the power of your mind and your WILL-power to choose to be confident.
6. FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS
What have you done this far in your life that truly feels natural and beneficial for you? What can you contribute now that feels natural and good for you? (And helps build your business too!)
Relaxed confidence is a wonderful vehicle for a peaceful and joyful life. Having the courage to stand in your power and say "YES" to who you truly are by embracing your significance simply benefits everyone. One step at a time, you can move towards your highest self and make this world a better place!
Be willing to say yes to yourself. Stephen Richards said, "Self Confidence is contagious." So true! We all deserve to feel this good.
